Happy New Years?

I'm psyched that it's finally New Years Eve, but I've been thinking about what I have to show for this year. It was a pretty good year overall, but it was definitely full of it's hardships.

I've had a few downfalls this year that I want to fix/never do again, but some I don't know if I can fully control. I found that my biggest problem and biggest reason for being down in mood at all this year was my take on girls. There were a few this year that I liked, but was not able to gain something more than friendship with any of them. Regardless, I am still grateful for that. Two girls stick out in my mind right now.


First is Whitney. She is one of the most amazing girls I have ever met. I fell for her over the phone ...long distance. I tried and tried to push it away. After being hurt a few times from it I was able to let go of it...until a few days ago. She found some time and the ability to come see me. I don't even know how to explain how I felt being around her. Everything seemed right. Everything about her was amazing to me. Again I find myself longing for something more, knowing that the chances of her going along with that are slim to none. She said she had a great time and it looked like she had a good time, but all of her thoughts and feelings I will never know. What she thinks about me, what she wants to happen...all up in the air. One thing is for sure...I am damn glad I stuck though the hard times. Even though it was only a couple days with her, it was unforgettable. There's nothing else I would've rather done. I'm not going to pressure her and I'm not going to ask for more. If it is ever going to happen, I want to know that it's true and that it's something she really wants. So if it happens, it is her doing.

I also found myself falling for Kim. The end of last school term I was going on numerous dates with her and had a great time. She's really fun to hang out with and very pretty. We've talked about a relationship and know that it probably isn't going to happen anytime soon if it does. She's not ready for one. I haven't got to talk to her as much lately as I would like to, but she promised me that she'll be there to greet me and hang out when I get back to Michigan on friday. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing her and hanging out again.

The reason I found myself down in mood from girls is because I find the girls that I like a lot, but what I feel never seems to be mutual. I fall for girls way too easy...probably for the longing of something close. I'm away from home the vast majority of the year and don't get to see my family. It's like I want someone to fill that gap when I'm gone...someone that I can love and be close to. Maybe I'll figure it out someday.

School had it's hardships and it's good times this year. January through March was awesome. I got initiated into the best fraternity in the world (Phi Gamma Delta), worked out and got myself looking better, spent a lot of time with my fraternity brothers having an awesome time (SC road trip, initiation, Delta week, etc) and I did well in my classes. April through June was also a good time. I was out in Iowa for my job with Polaris and one of my best friends Lee. I know I complain about Iowa a lot, but where we are in the summer is a huge tourist hot spot and there are a ton of fun things to go do around the lakes. The 4th of July weekend was definitely a good time too. Lee and I took a road trip to Buffalo, NY to hang out with Adam. We partied it up, went to Canada and Niagra falls, and went jet skiing on lake erie in PA. Following that was school term...July through September. That was my first full term in the fraternity house. The term wasn't quite as much fun simply because of the classes. I had a very bad professor for calc 3 and physics 2 is just hard as hell. Outside of those two classes, the term was pretty fun. Then work term came around from October-mid December. It was an alright time. The two highlights of that time were halloween and our beerpong table...and getting busted by the cops and going to the Sage Francis concert in Minneapolis. Both were a ton of fun. Since I've been home, I've posted everything I've done here in the last few posts...all of which has been a good time.

I know I am definitely looking forward to the new year and this next school term. It should be a lot of fun in the fraternity. I hope this next year things go better for me and the girl situation.

My new years resolutions: Take the rest of this weight off (not much more to go), make dean's list both terms, and to not fall for girls so easily. They're going to be difficult, but I'm sure I can do them.