Improvement

I've been subjected to long time periods on train rides across Europe that have allowed me to read, listen to music, talk, or just think. While I've participated in all of them, I've focused on a couple of them: reading and thinking. The reading I've done hasn't been reading done for the sake of entertainment, but to grow as a person and learn some skills to succeed in life. I realized that it is an untapped resource from the most brilliant minds in the world and that I have to take advantage of it or I will get passed up by those that do. Some of the books I've read have inadvertently led me to realize things that I do that are actually serving to hinder my ability to be great. This, in turn, led me to a lot of thinking about ways to improve myself. Many writers have always said that the way to be great is to constantly questions your beliefs and evaluate yourself and change accordingly. While I've always had this open view about myself, I have failed to notice some of the things that I may have done or currently do that slow down my progress.

Debate in high school taught me how to look at both sides of an issue and be able to coherently argue that side of it without bringing in too much emotion. It taught me how to organize ideas well. I have the ability to take someone's argument, analyze it, and dissect it on the fly. While there are some benefits to this, there are also many downsides. I can argue from dawn 'til dusk on a given topic with someone, but the average person won't give up their stance even in the face of opposing evidence. Why? Pride. This isn't ever covered in debate or in any class in public school systems. Debate works when you try to convince a third party of a given side of a topic, but will hardly ever work when trying to convince the opposition. A famous quote rings true, "One convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." I have taken the long road to discovering this. In countless arguments with friends, family, coworkers, and sometimes complete strangers I've proven them wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt with evidence, examples, etc and still they wont budge from their opinion. All I succeeded in was causing resentment. This is not the way I want to continue with my life. It will not lead me to success in any area of life.

I've began paying attention to how I approach a conversation. I love discussing controversial topics. I will change my opinion if someone proves my own wrong. I will change beliefs if I find that my own are lacking support. I am the minority when it comes to this mindset. Not everyone thinks like me. I've taken a more open and less direct approach to discussing controversial issues with people. I am now on set on becoming the guy that people love to discuss issues with, not the guy they hate discussing issues with. I need some help from some of you though. Some of you have known me throughout high school and from debate and others of you have only known me since college. I want everyone that has been around me for any period of time to tell me some things that I might have done that put you off, offended you, or you just flat out didn't like. I don't want things like a specific opinion that I might have, but more about how I approached you when talking. If I did something that seems to be a good lead in to bringing up the opposing side of an opinion, let me know about that too. That way I know what I need to improve on and what I need to strengthen.

The days of my harsh, "you're wrong because of blah, blah, blah," debating is over. I'm sure some of you will be happy about this ;)

Let me know!!

Thanks